


Push and Pull

by Mortimer_Dead_Sea



Series: Fuck Stephen King: Mort Goes Apeshit Over IT [4]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Fuck Stephen King, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, I've already written a fix-it fic but im DOING IT AGAIN, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, It's another fix-it fic folks, M/M, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 19:41:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20953862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mortimer_Dead_Sea/pseuds/Mortimer_Dead_Sea
Summary: "'I was definitely in love with you,' Eddie said, as if he was only just now realizing it. 'I didn’t even realize. Richie.'Richie’s heart was racing. 'What?''I’m gay,' Eddie said. He sounded shocked, but not shocked enough for this to have been a just-now thought."It's another fix-it fic where Eddie shows up at the arcade while Richie is getting his token.





	Push and Pull

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate Title: I'm going to fucking snap so here's another IT fic.  
I literally can't stop thinking about IT it's becoming a problem.
> 
> Anyway, here's an idea I had knocking around that I then built upon because I literally couldn't bring myself to not write post-canon where Eddie lives because I've blocked the ending of IT Chapter 2 from my memory. I'll explain how I had the idea in the notes at the end.
> 
> Also, the part where I talk about the kiss they had as kids is basically how the kiss went in my other fic [Shared Space](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20832650). The two fics aren't connected since that one is completely canon divergent and you don't need to read it to understand this one, but if you actually want to know how the kiss went down in my head than that's there.
> 
> Also also, even though only my first IT fic [Not to Lose](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20793131) is dedicated to my housemate on AO3, all my IT fics are spiritually dedicated to them because we're constantly screaming about IT to each other and I just wanted everyone to know that.

It was pretty easy for Richie to figure out what his token was. He had very few good memories of Derry, he knew that much at least, but his brain could at least throw him a bone every once in a while. After the initial rush of memories of finding his best friends again, every other memory had been all about just how dogshit Derry really is. And of course, his token was connected to one of his worst memories.

He thought about that day in the arcade as he put a dollar into the coin machine. Thought about everyone staring at him as the machine sprung to life, gears turning. Thought about what they called him as four tokens fell into the little cup at the bottom.

He grabbed them and looked them over. They were rusty, and grey, and just like he remembered. He pocketed one of them, and then pocketed another when a voice in his head that sounded a little too much like Eddie’s voice said he should keep one as a backup. He held the other two coins in his hand, rubbing his thumb over them, when he had a thought. He turned to the old Street Fighter machine old, dusty, and unplugged.

Would it still work?

He crossed the short distance to the machine and bent down to plug it back into the outlet. It sprung to life, and he grinned, before standing back up with a wince at the slight ache in his knees. He stood at the front of the machine, placed his two extra tokens at the bottom of the lit screen, and smiled. At least some of these memories were good.

“Richie.”

He jumped and whipped his body towards the door. As soon as he realized who it was, he immediately calmed down.

“You just scared the shit out of me, Eds.”

“Not my name,” Eddie said in impulse as he walked forward. Then he added, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s fine.” Once Eddie had gotten closer, Richie was able to get a good look at his face. “Are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Richie paused, and then his eyes widened. “Oh my god, did you see a ghost?”

“Not exactly.” Eddie was clearly trying to smile, but it seemed tense. “I got my token though.”

“Same.” Richie pulled one of his pocketed tokens out for Eddie to look at before putting it back. 

Eddie nodded, and then finally took a look at the old arcade game. “This thing still works?”

“Let’s find out.” Richie took one of the other tokens and slid it into the coin slot. The “choose your player” screen popped up and he grinned. “Want to play?”

“You know I was always terrible at these games,” Eddie said. But he stepped forward anyway, hands reaching for the buttons.

“Well I haven’t played in a couple decades,” Richie reminded him. “I’ll probably also be terrible.”

They each selected their character. Richie smiled as he remembered who he always used to play as.

They played in silence mostly, focused intently on the game that they were relearning. Even though Richie barely remembered playing as a kid, muscle memory was a beautiful thing.

“Nice to know I still remember how to kick your ass, Eds,” he said, shit eating grin plastered on his face.

“Shut up, Richie,” Eddie said, and Richie laughed.

As they played, more memories began to fill Richie’s head. He remembered the _ great _ moments in the arcade, and how they dwarfed the number of bad ones. Some of them included playing by himself, but most of them included the rest of the Losers, and there were very few that didn’t include Eddie in some capacity. As a matter of fact, there were plenty of just the two of them. Richie felt the sting of embarrassment as he recalled all those moments where he won things specifically to give to Eddie, but he squashed it. He refused to let his negative feelings and all the old internalized bullshit ruin those memories. He let himself enjoy the memory of Eddie’s grumbling and poorly hidden smile when he received another gift, the pictures they took in the photo booth, all the ice cream they would eat, and all those moments in front of the Street Fighter machine pushing each other in the hopes they could win by messing the other up. He had to suppress a laugh at the memory of their fake apologies to the people that would inevitably get knocked into in the process before they would vacate the arcade and start laughing. 

Richie bumped his shoulder against Eddie’s. He could see Eddie give him a sideways glance before turning his attention back to the game, and then Richie bumped him again, a little harder, and Eddie bumped him back this time. Richie grinned and shot an arm out, and just like that, they were kids again, shoving each other and yelling over a game of Street Fighter. Richie started laughing, and his heart filled when he heard Eddie laughing, too, wheezing around half-hearted insults.

Richie ended up winning, and he cheered, and pulled Eddie into a hug the other man did not fight. They were both still laughing, and as soon as his arms were around Eddie’s torso, more memories began to come rushing back, memories of Richie’s desperate feelings for Eddie. More memories of their time spent sharing the hammock. Memories of Richie sneaking in through Eddie’s window when one or both of them had had a bad day, of Richie sleeping in Eddie’s bed through the night, a privilege only Richie had since Eddie would not dare let another person so much as sit on his perfectly clean bed. With each memory of every moment he had ever had with Eddie, Richie’s heart swelled more and more, and he painfully remembered that shameful love he had for him.

Then he remembered a night at the quarry, when the sun was setting and it was just the two of them, and the awkward, hesitant kiss they shared and then never spoke of again. Richie had suggested it. Neither of them had had their first kiss yet. And by some stroke of luck, Eddie had agreed. And then the next day, Richie had ran to the Kissing Bridge and carved their initials into the wood, the only outlet he had for the fear and love he had in equal measures.

“Richie.”

Richie snapped from his thoughts, and he pulled away enough to look at Eddie’s concerned face. “Yeah?”

“Are you alright?” Eddie asked. “You got really quiet suddenly.”

“Oh…” Richie studied Eddie for a few moments, and decided he _ had _ to know. “Do you remember that day at the quarry? When it was just the two of us?”

Eddie gave him a look. “Rich, you’re gonna need to be more spe-” He paused suddenly, and Richie could see the realization dawn on his face as memories came rushing back. Richie knew that Eddie knew. What else could Richie possibly be talking about?

Eddie’s voice was quiet when he spoke. “Yeah, I do.”

Richie nodded, and because he never knew when to shut up, said, “I’m pretty sure that was the best day of my life.”

Eddie blinked back at him. Their arms were still wrapped around each other. “What do you mean?”

Richie licked his lips and swallowed dryly. “I was in love with you, Eds.”

Eddie’s eyes widened, and Richie kept talking. “I wanted so badly to be close to you. That’s why I suggested it. I wanted more than anything to kiss you. I couldn’t believe it when you agreed, and to this day it’s still probably the best kiss I’ve ever had, and I carved our initials into the Kissing Bridge-”

“You _ what?” _ Eddie’s arms were off him now, and he had taken a couple steps back, and Richie knew he was fucking up, but he couldn’t stop now.

“I carved our initials into the Kissing Bridge,” Richie repeated, his arms limps at his sides. “I was so in love with you and so scared of being in love with you and I wasn’t sure how to handle it. So that’s what I did.”

Eddie stared at him in silence. He looked like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Richie supposed that was fair. It wasn’t every day you found out that your childhood best friend is not only gay but was also in love with you when you were kids.

Finally, Eddie did speak. “I think I was in love with you, too.”

Richie paused at that. He played Eddie’s words in his head over and over again, but they wouldn’t quite sink in.

“I- You- What?”

“I was definitely in love with you,” Eddie said, as if he was only just now realizing it. “I didn’t even realize. _ Richie.” _

Richie’s heart was racing. “What?”

_ “I’m gay,” _ Eddie said. He sounded shocked, but not shocked enough for this to have been a just-now thought.

“Eds, you’re married to a woman,” Richie reminded him.

“Not for long,” Eddie said, voice getting louder. He looked like he was on the verge of _ something, _ but whether it was some great triumph or a nervous breakdown, Richie wasn’t sure. “If we get out of here-”

“No ‘ifs’, Eds,” Richie said, He knew Eddie must really be in the thick of it considering he hadn’t protested to Richie’s nicknames in a few minutes. “Only when.”

Eddie sighed. “Rich-”

“Say ‘when’, Eds.” Richie’s voice was small, and desperate. He couldn’t bring himself to be embarrassed. _ “Please.” _

Eddie paused, face pinched, but he continued. “When we get out of here, the _ second _ we get out of here, I’m getting a divorce.” Eddie ran his hands through his hair. He looked so frustrated. “I can’t believe I stayed married as long as I did, I can’t believe I married her at all, _ god, _ I feel like such a dumbass.”

“Don’t say that, Eds,” Richie said. “I know what it’s like to have to work through all that, this isn’t on you.”

Eddie seemed to calm at that. Then he said, “That’s not my name” and Richie actually beamed, because that meant Eddie must be feeling better. 

Richie knew that there was no way that years of suppression and internalized homophobia would suddenly just disappear, but if Eddie was willing to go through the process of a divorce at the mere realization that he was gay, then that meant he was going in the right direction.

“I’m here if you need anything,” Richie told him. “Anything at all.” And he meant it.

Eddie smiled, and it was the greatest sight Richie had ever seen. “Thank you.”

Richie smiled back. They stood in silence for a while before Eddie spoke up again.

“Do you remember right before we were going to college?” Eddie asked. “Before we all started to forget one another?”

It was Richie’s turn to be confused as he racked his brain for those final memories, and then like a flash, he knew exactly what Eddie was talking about.

Of course, Richie had made another joke that he so desperately wanted to be real. He said that if they weren’t married by the time they were forty, then they should get married. And once again, Eddie had surprised him by saying “deal”.

“When I half-joked about us getting married?” Richie asked. “Well, you are married. I’m the single one.”

Eddie glared at him. “Richie, I _ just _ said I’m going to get a divorce.”

Richie just stared at him again. Eddie was doing a great job at making his brain stall. Nice to know that never changed.

“What are you getting at?” Richie asked.

_ “Richie.” _ Eddie sounded exasperated, but Richie kind of never wanted Eddie to stop saying his name. He had only just started doing it again. “I’m still in love with you.”

That wasn't it. Richie couldn’t have heard _ that _ right. “What?”

“I love you, Richie.”

Oh, he _ had _ heard him right.

_ “Fuck.” _ Richie stepped forward. “I still love you, too.”

Eddie’s arms were back around him, and Richie had one hand around his waist and the other in his hair as they met in what was the new best kiss Richie had ever had. There was no hesitancy here, no awkwardness of childhood, just relief, and sureness, and a shameless _ finally. _

They pulled away and rested their foreheads together, and Richie reveled in all his feelings that didn’t hold a hint of shame or embarrassment for once in his life. It was _ thrilling. _

Then he registered something else Eddie had said.

“Were you asking me to marry you?” Richie asked.

Eddie did not hesitate to nod. 

“We’ve only just gotten each other back, Eds,” Richie pointed out. “We’ve never lived together, we technically haven’t even started dating yet.”

“I know,” Eddie said. “And we wouldn’t have to get married right away. But I’ve wasted enough of my life and I don’t want to waste anymore.”

Richie’s heart stuttered, and his eyes began to itch. “Then ok.”

Eddie smiled again, and it was the greatest thing Richie had ever seen. When they kissed again, they felt each other’s grins.

====

Sitting in the waiting room after what was almost the worst moment of his life, Richie wasn’t sure what to do with himself. It had been a rough couple of days since they defeated IT and the Neibolt house crumbled to the ground, and they had gotten Eddie to the hospital, where he had been rushed into surgery. He had lived, and while he was still unconscious in surgery the hospital had called his wife, and so now she was in Derry as well. Eddie hadn’t woken up yet, and Richie couldn’t help but feel guilty that when he finally did wake up, he would have to sort out the fact that both his wife and fiance were present.

And in the law’s prioritization, Richie would have to take a back seat.

Doctors rushed the waiting room to tell Myra that Eddie was awake, and she immediately stood and followed them down the hall. Richie watched her disappear with a twist in his gut, desperately wishing he could be there too. Eddie was going to have to hash out everything on his own and Richie would later be let in with the Losers.

Or so he thought.

“Richard Tozier?”

Richie looked up to see another member of the hospital staff looking down at him.

“Uh, yes?”

“Edward Kaspbrak wants to see you in his room.” The person looked tense, as if they were doing something they really shouldn’t be. 

Richie nodded, and stood on shaky legs. As he followed her down the hall, however, he could hear Eddie and Myra’s arguing voices, and his strides became longer, and more confident. He was going to help get Eddie through this, just like he got him out of that cave. He was sure of it.

\----

It was a long, grating argument. Myra was a force to be reckoned with, Richie would give her that. She reminded Richie too much of Eddie’s controlling, abusive mother. Every jab and comment she made only spurred Richie on, determined to get Eddie the hell out of there.

Eventually, the hospital staff showed up again and said that if she was going to cause Eddie distress while he was in recovery then she was going to have to leave. She had not liked that, and had demanded to know who was going to take care of Eddie when he left the hospital.

“I am,” Richie said.

“And who the hell _ are _ you?” Myra asked.

Richie paused at that. He had spent this whole conversation avoiding that part. He didn’t want to put too much on Eddie right now, didn’t want to give Myra anymore ammunition. If she really was just a carbon copy of Eddie’s mother, then Richie could only imagine her reaction upon finding out that, not only was Eddie leaving her, but he was leaving her for _ another man. _ And Richie really didn’t want to make Eddie go through that.

But then Eddie said, “He’s the person I _ should _ have been married to this entire time.”

Myra’s jaw dropped. It was all a blur after that, but in the end, Eddie won.

\----

It was a slow going process, and every step was a fight. All of the Losers helped Eddie gather his things, not wanting to leave Eddie and Richie at the mercy of Eddie’s soon-to-be-ex-wife. Every moment was a screaming match between Myra and _ somebody _ the entire time they were there. It was grating, going there day after day to keep filling the U-Haul before going back to a nearby hotel for the night and doing it all over again in the morning.

But knowing he and Richie could start their life together as soon as he was done made it all worth it to Eddie.

Eddie and Richie had not told their friends. If the fact there was only one bed in their hotel room and that Eddie’s new permanent place of residence was going to be Richie’s apartment didn’t spell it out for them, then the choice words Myra had for Richie and Eddie certainly did. The Losers made no mention of it to them directly, but the fact that they stuck through it all, and helped pack all of the things, and yelled at Myra when she crossed a million different lines told them that they had their friend’s undying support, and that was all they could ask for.

Once everything had been packed and transported and put inside the apartment, Richie and Eddie assured their friends that they would be fine from here on out, and they had teary, grateful goodbyes before they all went their separate ways with promises to _ actually _ keep in touch this time.

Once it was just the two of them, they both stared at all the boxes and the general mess that was Richie’s apartment.

“I really don’t want to do this right now,” Richie said with a bit of a grimace.

Richie knew Eddie must have been tired, because he simply nodded. Richie checked his phone, and saw he had new emails from his agent. His grimace deepened. He had been emailing back and forth with his agent since Eddie had gotten out of the hospital. His agent had been pissed to say the least, and he knew it wasn’t over yet. He was about to open the email when Eddie leaned into his side, and right then and there, Richie decided that his agent could deal. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and pulled Eddie into his arms, and it made him feel like a teenager again in the best way possible.

“When do you think we should tell our friends we’re engaged?” Richie asked. Eddie chuckled, and it had to be the most beautiful sound Richie had ever heard.

“Maybe soon,” Eddie said. “When everything’s calmed down again.”

Richie nodded. “Can we please go to bed? I feel like I’m gonna fucking pass out.”

_ “God, _ please,” Eddie said, and Richie laughed as they went to the bedroom, _ their _ bedroom.

They were going to have to clean. Unpack. Declutter. Buy a bigger bed. Maybe someday buy a bigger _ place, _ but _ god _ if this wasn’t everything 13-year-old Richie Tozier dreamed about. He couldn’t help but stare at Eddie as he got ready for bed, looked at all the bandages running up and down his torso, feeling that same sense of relief at the fact that he was _ alive. _

He’d apparently been staring too long because Eddie was giving him a look. “What?”

“I love you, Eds,” Richie said.

“Don’t call me that, asshole,” Eddie said. Then his face softened, and there was a hint of a smile as he said, “I love you, too.”

Richie grinned. Everything was going to be pretty fucking great from here on out.

**Author's Note:**

> Basically my idea stems from a thought I had of Richie remembering a bad memory where someone he had vague feelings for is shit to him after a game of Street Fighter, and then creating a new good memory of playing Street Fighter with someone he loves and who loves him just as much. So then this happened.
> 
> My Twitter: @mortimerdeadsea


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